INT. GRIFFIN LIVING ROOM – DAY

PETER is sitting on the couch watching TV. LOIS walks in, arms crossed.

LOIS:
Peter, you need to get a job. We can’t live off expired coupons and wishful thinking.

PETER:
Oh come on, Lois. I got a plan. I’m gonna work at the zoo. I already got the job. They said I had the “right scent.”

LOIS:
The right scent?

PETER:
Yeah. Turns out raccoons are super into Old Spice and sadness.

CUTAWAY – EXT. ZOO – NIGHT

PETER is in a raccoon enclosure wearing a trash can lid as a shield.

ZOOKEEPER:
Just keep them distracted while we clean. Don’t break eye contact.

PETER:
(terrified)
Why do they look like tiny bandits with a grudge?

One raccoon pulls out a shiv. Another is wearing Peter’s actual wallet.

RACCOON:
(whispers)
You stepped into the wrong alley, fat man.

BACK TO LIVING ROOM

LOIS:
So, did you survive the zoo?

PETER:
Only just. But hey, I got to keep this ferret. His name’s Kyle and he knows how to hotwire a Prius.

FERRET pops up from Peter’s shirt pocket wearing sunglasses and nods coolly.

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